Here are my 5 Steps to figure out where and how to start with change! The hardest part for us is often to start. When discussing personal development, there are so many possible paths to take that we feel overwhelmed. The best tip I have is to start small. I swear this works, but yes it is hard and it often sucks.
Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.Robin Sharma
Humans are build to want everything now. Because we weren’t sure what the future brought. We would want all the food we could see now. We would want shelter now. We would need to know the plans of our enemies now. However, in this new age of technology that we live in, we don’t have to have everything now. And I should also remind you that in the past we had to wait for those things whether or not we liked to. We were forced to be patient. And therein lies the issue. We need things now and it is super easy to get things now.
Let’s get with on with the 5 Steps to figure out where and how to start with change!
- Start small. I already gave you quite a bit of reasoning about why we want things now. And how we are accustomed to it. Something that wasn’t an issue before. The reason why we need to start small is that we are accustomed to a certain way of living. It isn’t realistic for us to all of a sudden change totally. Our bodies and our minds are used to a certain baseline. And if we change it radically all at once, they both will turn against us. Our brains are used to a certain way of doing things so it will talk us out of doing things out of the comfort zone ( the bigger the louder they talk against it). It is the same with the body. If we used to eat a certain way or we have weight a certain way for long, it will do everything to keep us that way. That is why diets don’t work. We might lose weight short term but we won’t keep it off. Because once we are “allowed” to eat normally our bodies will try to get to the base we used to be. Therefore, the slower the change, the most likely it is that our bodies/brains don’t even notice that they have to fight for the baseline, cos it changes so little at a time.
- Now that we know we need to start small, what should we start? Think about your key habits that give a domino effect on other habits. Mine is snoozing. I never used to do it, but in the last couple of years, I learned to… I have no idea why. But it affects all of my other habits. After I have snoozed, I wake up groggy. I am kinda late and I have to rush, making me forget a bunch of stuff. That makes me feel guilty and I end up beating myself up even more. Being negative and groggy makes you even more tired. Then once I get back from work I am all frustrated and I just want to escape; thus I check the phone and then I disregard all of my other responsibilities I have at home; dishes, clothes on the floor, etc. Then I get hungry but I am lazy as fuck and I decide I won’t cook and I’ll just order in. Then I probably drink coke or a coffee to get myself a bit more awake. I get super motivated to do all those things I disregarded first and then I go to sleep late. And then I snooze again. So logically, my first step is to get rid of snoozing. And god damn that is a hard thing to accept. Because that is soooo not a sexy habit. Like you wouldn’t want to watch a youtube video on how I changed my life with this small trick. I stopped snoozing! (Or would you?)
- Once you figured out the micro habit that you must change. Figure out what steps you must take. For me with the snoozing habit is to make sure my phone isn’t close to my bed. I need to physically get up to turn it off. And I can’t have any other alarms on. So I don’t think like “Well it will ring again I’ll just cuddle in bed for a while longer” after turning the first one of. No, there won’t be the second one. I will also have to make the bed quite fast. I should during the week at least have my planned outfit set out. Maybe even my jewelry. I know what makeup I like, so that isn’t an issue. Then I need to just get on with the steps of my morning. At this stage, if you don’t have any clear routine I wouldn’t worry. Now that I have (or you have) woken up on time, we can try out different things to do and figure out how our routine would look like.
- Don’t give up when you fail. Because you will. Even with the smallest step that you could do you will fail. We are so used to certain habits and routines even if they are bad for us. That it is hard to unlearn them. Sometimes we go back into the bad habits for comfort. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are doing it again. Give yourself, your mind and your body some time. Remember that most of the time both of them are affected by our habits. This means there are two “powers” pulling in the opposite direction than our logic. This makes it extremely difficult to stick to things. No matter how small.
- Don’t make it the law. Don’t think that if you have been sick for the past week that you can’t snooze. Because maybe that is exactly what you actually need. Or maybe you need to cuddle with your partner. Make it realistic. If you will make it seem like you are in a war zone, you will fail because the brain has never been the best at making good choices when it is under stress. Slow and steady wins the race. Don’t let things slide for excuses. But sometimes a cuddle with your partner will make you feel way better than getting up right away.
Those are my 5 Steps to figure out where and how to start with change! What was your favorite?
For more information/inspiration check these:
- Forbes: 22 Micro habits that will completely Change Your Life in a Year
- Inc: How to Immediately Change Your Life For The Better
- Mark Manson: How to change your life?
From the article on INC: “There’s an old joke where a man says, “I really want to go to medical school, but it takes at least seven years–and I’ll be 50 in seven years!” A wise friend replies, “And how old will you be in seven years if you don’t go?”
Remember we are humans. No matter what we will have our bad days we will need something different than the norm once in a while. This is why I want to fight for a SUSTAINABLE personal development.
We can reach the moon, but the thing is that even then, there were millions of small steps that were taken, before we were able to do that. And some changes aren’t for you. Don’t force yourself into a box if you would rather be in a cylinder.
“Just because Superman can fly doesn’t mean you can. You can still be someone hero without flying.”Alisa (Me)
More to read from me:
- Simplifying my life
- Dopamine detox inspired by Andrew Kirby
- Why 2019-2020 was my hardest but the best year?
What is the smallest step that you need to make, in order to start this journey with the tribe?