Lifestyle

New Year and the BS

I love you New Year, the kick you get for the first time in a while that you know you will become the super version of you for the next year. Sadly it lasts for 2 weeks…. one month max, and then you are back to square one, if not even further away.

Let me be very clear here, goals are great and motivation is fabulous and being ambitious, is a life goal for many. But there is absolutely no point to Bull Shit yourself. You are not going to do those 50 new things now. Even hardcore goal achievers always say only one goal at the time, or maybe 3 goals that are different from each other. For example exercise twice a week and write blog posts weekly and maybe read a book a month. I think those are still reachable goals. It kind of depends on where you start and how far you want to reach.

My point here is, there is no rush nor is there a competition. You should compete only with the person you were yesterday. That is it. Being competitive isn’t bad, but always comparing yourself to 300 people before you, who are in a totally different life situation than you is just not going to serve you.

We are all on a journey through life. We have daily obstacles, some more and some less. Sometimes it is really good to be kind of stuck and not rushing with your process. A body builder can’t achieve a #goals body in a week. It requires a lot of work, many years of work even. But the process of achieving your goals is also a very big part of your life. Don’t undermine its significance.

-Alisa

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Life lessons

What should I do?

Endless questions day in and day out.  Should I travel to Thailand for a much needed stress free vacation? Should I go on that date? Do I even like this job? And so on and so on. I am sure you catch my train of thought. Well, what are you supposed to do when your mind is going 100 miles an hour and your body is stuck? There  was a great post on Psychology Today on this topic, and I will add some of my own ideas to it.

  1. Think of how you want to feel.  Sometimes a job seems like too true to be true but there is just this voice at the back of your head that is like: ” Ummmmm I am not so sure this is a good idea.” Don’t disregard that voice. Think about how you want to feel if you take that job. Is it that you want to feel like you are financial stable? Or is it that you want to feel like you job has purpose? If the job environment seems shit and you know you will lose your will to loose? Well no amount of money, is going to make you feel happy doing that job. (Do remember that no job is always fun. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made)
  2. What do you value the most? Look everyone has different ideas of what is fun and great. You might be ok working just for money because your side hustle keeps your soul happy.  And just because your parents or friends would like something doesn’t mean you have to.
  3. #Just do itLame, yes but yet so very true. I swear to you, not making a choice and being in this limbo of to do or not to do, is so much worse than a wrong choice. You have to accept this fact, that you do not always make the right choice. And that is okay. Look if you do the wrong choice, next time you will know better. At least with a wrong decision you have a change of taking an action to damage control. If you do nothing, you will notice that in the end, you have sailed with the current somewhere far far away from where you want to be. A wrong decision might be a step back, but it doesn’t stop you from taking steps forward after.
  4. Talk it out…notice it says OUT. Look yes you have a lot of thoughts and yes you may want to think everything through and think about all the options from A to Z… the thing is, most of the time if you just talk and talk and talk about the same issue with the people you ask advice from…. well it is because you want them to give the advice you want to hear. That way you don’t have to take the responsibility for what you are doing. And I am hear to give you a reality check (also known as a figurative bitch slap). No matter what someone tells you to do, it is YOU who makes the choice and thus it is YOU who is fully the blame. (Unless someone holds you at gun point, but that is black mail, and that’s just something totally different)
  5. Sleep on it and then trust your gut. Just because something looks good on paper doesn’t meen that it is actually good. Research everything and figure out if what the paper says is actually true. After sleeping on it, with all the information you have how does this thing feel? Does it feel right? Is it something you want to do? If yes go for it. If no, say no. But do not be a “no man” just because you are scared. Learn to differentiate between fear that is just because of your limiting believes and fear that is so crippling that, you know, if you do what you are thinking of doing will kill you.

Action is the best way to figure things out. It doesn’t matter if it is about a life path, job, family  or choices that are smaller. It is rare that people do such huge mistakes that they can’t turn their life around later on. I for one rather go to the wrong direction than just stay always where I am and wither like a plant after a while.

Hope you liked this post and please don’t hesitate to comment, it’d be much appreciated.

-Alisa

Goals, Life lessons, Lifestyle, personal development, Reading and Books

Be taught and teach

For couple of days now I have been watching people from TOTALLY different specks of life tell their story, their vision on Tom Bilyeu’s show Impact Theory. And not only is all that I have watched been so extremely inspirational, I understood, that we ALL learn all the time AND that we all teach all the time. Let’s get deeper in my idea and what I think this could or should mean.

So my idea as a whole is that we suck information from our surroundings, people, books, online sources and so on. And this information can be true or untrue, wrong or right. That doesn’t matter because in order to learn something it doesn’t matter if it is true or not. It is enough that we believe that it is.

As we learn new things, we right away start teaching other. As kids, we are often told to say sorry if we do something wrong, right? So if someone does wrong to us and they don’t say sorry, we end up telling them about it. “Hey, my mommy says you have to says sorry if you do XYZ” And obviously this an VERY early on example, but I think you get the point.

I strongly believe, that realizing this fact, and absorbing this idea, could be a tremendous help. Imagine what the world would be like, if those people who write books, blogs, make youtube videos or hold long speeches, wouldn’t exist? No Aristotle, no Platon, no DaVinci, Voltaire, Oprah no Tom Bilyeu or anyone else you find has in a way or another influenced today’s world. If they wouldn’t exist or their works wouldn’t, there wouldn’t be knowledge.

Einstein could have written all his theories and said F*** this S*** and burned all that he figured out. Same goes to all the others. And that would just make our world of knowledge very very empty. Obviously this is just what if’s, but I swear I have a point here.

We learned all the things we have from other, normal people. So why is it that when we want to influence, our first reaction is that “I’m alone I can’t make impact”? I mean all the other people were alone with their thoughts, I mean especially the Philosophes, “normal” people rarely understood what they ment, because talk about meta philosophy sometimes.

What if all the influencer also would have thought that they can’t make an impact. And really do they even care? I mean if you think you have something worth spreading, it might now win a nobel price, BUT I am sure someone will read it. And if you work hard enough and long enough, I am sure you will gain the platform that will help you shoot the message you have to the wide audience.

And even if it doesn’t have this snowball effect where everyone will be cheering you onto a stage in front of thousands of attendees. It can be small things that, if a lot of people separately do, it will affect the masses.

For example, if  you want to lessen sexism, why wait for “influential ” people to make a difference. Teach the people around you, your kids, your friends, write blogs etc. Or you want someone  to be excited about math? Teach them that.

Attention, nothing can be force fed, or the person might choke on it. But by giving them an example, telling your opinion, in the end it might just be that your actions have made an impact to the world.

There is this paradox in everything, every one who ever became an influencer, was first all alone in their spreading of their belief. Many of them are dead, and got a following of thousands only after their death, BUT  no one can say that they didn’t make an impact.

Just choose your words and thoughts wisely, and let us all, work as individuals, to make our togetherness on this planet the  best it can be.

Thank you for reading

-Alisa

Health, Lifestyle, Positivity

10 simple things I do for positivity boost

Negativity is a productivity/inspiration killer. But what to do when you are in the cycle? I mean it’s not like we can just buy a ticket to Bora Bora right now and leave. I, at least have school, no money and other obligations. Can’t just up and leave. What to do then, to make your day brighter in a simple way? Here are ten things that work for me, with a bit of an explanation if you feel like trying them out as well.

  1. Cleaning. This isn’t something that makes me happy while I do it (Unless I am procrastinating doing an essay or reading for an exam). But I feel better after it. I can concentrate better and I feel good about myself. Happy that I could be productive. As a side note. Cleaning doesn’t mean the whole house. Just washing the dishes. Or putting my clothes away etc. Can sometimes be enough to clear my mind and make me feel better.
  2. Going on a walk. Fresh air (cold in Finland right no) always wakes me up. Even if the weather isn’t the best it makes a world of a difference for me. I always come back with more energy and a lot more awake. Don’t over do it. 15-30 minutes can do wonders.
  3. Taking a shower. A warm shower, washing away the stress and negativity. Smelling clean and fresh. It is almost like I wash away the believe that I can’t do something. If you haven’t done this before let me suggest you a exercise called shower meditation. Imagine that the water that cascades over you washes away the bad things. It doesn’t matter what it really is. Stress, bad memories, negativity about others or yourself. Just imagine you are cleaning all that junk away.  Check for another shower meditation idea here:  https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-26626/heres-a-5minute-meditation-you-can-do-in-the-shower.html
  4. Meditation in general. Just five minutes pause. Breathing and being. Trying not to think about anything, or if you think about something (which is more than common) try to make it something positive. And after the thought “passes” go back to thinking about you breathing. I have a post about meditation here. 
  5. Reading (Audio books work as well). Reading gives you a chance to be ANYWHERE you want to be. If you want the book to be about dragons, you will find it. If you feel like jumping into a world of magic and excitement… Harry Potter here I come. Or it can be a book on something you want to learn or that just interests you. I myself prefer reading books that are not about the reality or if they are, it has to have a twist. Because when I read to relax I want it to have nothing to do with the world that is causing me to stress/be negative in the first place.
  6. Make a cup of tea/coffee. This personally helps me even if I am doing some school work while I drink it. Making the tea/coffee gives me exactly the small pause I need to get my head back on my shoulders. And having that cup of a hot beverage just makes me feel somehow very business like and efficient. Like I am in a office so productive that I don’t even have time for a coffee break.  I know it might seem a bit silly but that idea helps me often if I’m stuck.
  7. Stretch. Again gives you a pause and it is good for your joints and body in general. And you also must admit that when you stretch and you reach that sweet spot ( I am sure you know what I mean) it is very satisfying.
  8. Dance like like no one is watching (cos they aren’t you are in your room alone.) Put a silly song on for example Girls just want to have fun by Cyndi Or if you want something more masculine(Hehehe) YMCA. Seriously tho I don’t care what songs  you like or want to dance to. It shouldn’t matter as long as you are having fun. Heck I have danced to AQUA- Barbie Girl. It’s all about the fun.
  9. Sleep/power nap. Look working hard is good. Studying for them A* is great. But not at the expense of your health. Sleep is such easy way to get back on track. And imagine. One bad nigh can effect you for 4 days. So think twice before pulling an all nighter.
  10. Write/draw/paint. Write the good stuff, the bad stuff, just because you enjoy writing and any other reason in between. Draw or paint circles, do something creative with your hands while your brain is almost turned off. This just gives you time to process things and not over analyse and makes you free to relax. Just don’t make this about some kind of goal of writing a book this year or to paint a master piece. This thing is just for you. As an outlet.

Thanks again for reading. Sorry if this post got a bit longer than usually. Hope you guys find it still interesting and helpful. Tell in the comments below what helps you.

-Alisa

Lifestyle, personal development

Can personal development be bad?

I am very familiar with the feeling of no being enough. Like I am supposed to be way further with my life but I just don’t seem to know where/what that further is. But the thing is I have gotten myself into a cycle that is horrible for me.  Here is where I tell you the negative aspect of personal development. This is not to say that it is always bad and you shouldn’t work on yourself. This is to say that you have to watch out for your limits.

Personal development is everywhere. Social media is filled with it. There are blogs, youtube channels and all of the other platforms for it. Thousands of books, millions of success stories and often only one side, the pretty side, is visible. And lets be real here even if people also tell about the negative things they had to over come to be where they are now, we often only listen to the pretty little tales don’t we?

I have for a pretty long time felt like I am not enough, like I am already 21 (note the sarcasm) why aren’t I like that one person who invented that cool thing when he was 15. Or why am I not owning my own business like that other young adult. And then on top of this I would read self help books, or how to be successful books and blogs and all I could get my hands on. And this was bad. Not because the sources are bad or because what they say would be untrue, but because I was in the state of mind where all that I read I would see as proof that I was not good enough.  And that is not what personal development is about.

Personal development is a process where you see what you aren’t that good at and make it better, with small steps. While being proud and happy of who you are at this moment. You aren’t supposed to feel like shit and be demotivated to work, just because you feel like there is always another obstacle or that you are always 3 steps behind that other success story.

If you feel like I have for a while. Close the blog, book or social media page you are looking at and just come back to who and where  you are. Don’t know what you want to do? That is fine, just do things you are doing as well as you can. Take opportunities that come your way and take it one step at a time.

Do not read the books in order to feel bad of who you are at this moment. Read them as a motivational tool, to learn about new people and new things. And if you feel like you just don’t get that positive feeling from reading them right now, then don’t read them for a while. It is alright to take a personal development research pause once in a while. Just like you take pauses from social media. That doesn’t mean your are giving up, and please don’t. Because like everything in life, this is a journey with a lot of work as well as rest.

I hope my thoughts came across clearly and I wish all of you a great rest of the week.

-Alisa

Lifestyle, Positivity

Hello darkness, my old friend

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

The sound of silence by Disturbed

In Finland  full on icky autumn is here. The first verse of the song quoted above is like the best description of what it’s like here. Dark, wet and just dead. And yet, I still do not want to let myself sink to the bottom of the frozen river and be all mopey. (Thought it is tempting and I slip once in a while)

How to improve our experiences about this autumn, alone and together.  Even if the weather isn’t the best right now (Disclaimer; I like early autumn, but this time with no light and nothing but rain? Nope!)

  1. Light a candle or 50. Candles give a cosy and warm atmosphere to the cold and dark. Plus Christmas (Holidays if you don’t celebrate Christmas)  is soon here, might as well prepare right?
  2. Do not just sit around. The worst thing that autumn does to a person, is make them tired and just a blob. We feel like there is nothing to do. It rains out so going out on a walk is meh and if its dark its also meh, so we settle for just being a blob. But do not let yourself do that. Go out even if it rains. (“Yeah hi, it’s me your umbrella, yeah I still exist, its kinda stuffy in the closet all the time ya know”) or if its literally pouring cat and dogs just do a small dance around your room to Christmas music. (Yes I’ve done it, and yes it was great.)
  3. Spend time with friends and family. Look we feel like we are sad company, like we have nothing to give because I mean, blobs don’t talk ya know? But really we should go out. Grab a hot coco that costs like at least 3€ too much. Having a sugar high and spending time with friends or family to take away your mind from the wind, rain and dark for a while. And that is exactly what we need, to think about the good not the bad.

Thanks for reading and have a cozy autumn ❤

-Alisa

Life lessons

More questions less answers

We go to school, we learn daily new things. We answer thousands of questions. We read for exams that ask us factual questions. Questions we can answer with a date, a vocabulary word, or explaining chain of events in a way or another.  And that is great. It is important to learn how to answer straight forward questions with straight answers. But is that enough?

I do not think so. I believe that it would be so very important for people to analyse more philosophical questions. Questions that like of “What makes you happy, in day to day life?”. Or ” What do you think the world would need to make it a better place?” And these are hard questions. And chances are if you as this from a 7 year old the answer will be candy or more toys, or maybe nowadays it’d be WI-FI. But it doesn’t hurt to ask those things. Because even if one of 10 students actually gives something worthy of using in our day to day life, isn’t worth a shot? And sure, it is possible that no one else would get any value out of their answers. But it would make the students think. Like oh yeah, going on a walk with my dog makes me  happy, or hmmm my moms apple pie is to die for. And isn’t that just as important to teach about or if not teach make them think about it?

And this thinking about bigger questions could be added to actual subjects as well. For example in History. “What little things in this chain of events could have changed everything?” And then people would have to analyse History deeper, and maybe actually understand that history is not just dates and chains of events. It is people, feelings, pains and joys. And I believe in order to actually know history, you must understand the people the thoughts and actions not just the dates and names.

What I am trying to say here is that factual questions are great, but they do not do much on their own. We people question everything. And in order to remember somethings we have to be able to empathise with the situation. The feelings and thoughts we have are like the bones that add the meat to; which is the dates and names that otherwise mean nothing to us. That way we can somehow make these situations, questions and ideas important to us, and maybe even remember them better. For example in maths; “What should your monthly pay be in order to pay for rent that is X for water and electricity that is Y and for other stuff that is Z, remember to add taxes to your payments.”

What do you guys think, should we be asking more complex, feeling induced questions at school as well as in our personal life?

As always thanks for reading

-Alisa