Goals, Lifestyle, Reading and Books

How to spend your free time

Last time I mentioned we shouldn’t rush all the time. That it is okay to just do one thing at a time and actually have pauses. But what to do when you want to do something semi smart and not just sit and what TV, game etc. Which is totally okay as well. Once in a while. What smart is there to do and why do something semi productive during your rest time?

  1. Go for a walk: Going for a walk is going to kill a lot of birds with one stone. You get exercise, that in turn will make your brain work better and you will be less stressed.
  2. Read a book, blog post/listen to a podcast that isn’t just about some fiction/love etc. Reading, no matter what you are reading is good for your cognitive health but reading self-help or something similar will not only activate your brain but might give you ideas to your life. Same goes with listening to a podcast. Plus you can actually do something else like clean up at the same time.
  3. Watch a documentary. Watching something smart can just boost your knowledge and broaden your life views and that is always a good thing. Who knows when someone will ask you who was the third roman emperor.  ( It was Julius Cesar by the way https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Roman_emperors#Emperors_after_395)
  4. Talk to a mentor. It doesn’t matter who it is. It could be a brother or mother or someone online who you just met. But talking to someone who inspires you and makes you excited to be better and to work harder can never be a bad thing. This is especially helpful when you are just starting out you personal development journey.  If you have difficulties there  will always be someone, somewhere willing to help and guide you.

Here are some tips that I like to use. I do not always do this and trust me I waste way too much time just on youtube looking at productivity tips. But I try my best to improve with becoming more active mentally and these tips help me at least.

Good luck and until next time,

xoxo,

The Writer

Advertisements
Lifestyle, personal development

Can personal development be bad?

I am very familiar with the feeling of no being enough. Like I am supposed to be way further with my life but I just don’t seem to know where/what that further is. But the thing is I have gotten myself into a cycle that is horrible for me.  Here is where I tell you the negative aspect of personal development. This is not to say that it is always bad and you shouldn’t work on yourself. This is to say that you have to watch out for your limits.

Personal development is everywhere. Social media is filled with it. There are blogs, youtube channels and all of the other platforms for it. Thousands of books, millions of success stories and often only one side, the pretty side, is visible. And lets be real here even if people also tell about the negative things they had to over come to be where they are now, we often only listen to the pretty little tales don’t we?

I have for a pretty long time felt like I am not enough, like I am already 21 (note the sarcasm) why aren’t I like that one person who invented that cool thing when he was 15. Or why am I not owning my own business like that other young adult. And then on top of this I would read self help books, or how to be successful books and blogs and all I could get my hands on. And this was bad. Not because the sources are bad or because what they say would be untrue, but because I was in the state of mind where all that I read I would see as proof that I was not good enough.  And that is not what personal development is about.

Personal development is a process where you see what you aren’t that good at and make it better, with small steps. While being proud and happy of who you are at this moment. You aren’t supposed to feel like shit and be demotivated to work, just because you feel like there is always another obstacle or that you are always 3 steps behind that other success story.

If you feel like I have for a while. Close the blog, book or social media page you are looking at and just come back to who and where  you are. Don’t know what you want to do? That is fine, just do things you are doing as well as you can. Take opportunities that come your way and take it one step at a time.

Do not read the books in order to feel bad of who you are at this moment. Read them as a motivational tool, to learn about new people and new things. And if you feel like you just don’t get that positive feeling from reading them right now, then don’t read them for a while. It is alright to take a personal development research pause once in a while. Just like you take pauses from social media. That doesn’t mean your are giving up, and please don’t. Because like everything in life, this is a journey with a lot of work as well as rest.

I hope my thoughts came across clearly and I wish all of you a great rest of the week.

-Alisa

Lifestyle, Positivity

Hello darkness, my old friend

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

The sound of silence by Disturbed

In Finland  full on icky autumn is here. The first verse of the song quoted above is like the best description of what it’s like here. Dark, wet and just dead. And yet, I still do not want to let myself sink to the bottom of the frozen river and be all mopey. (Thought it is tempting and I slip once in a while)

How to improve our experiences about this autumn, alone and together.  Even if the weather isn’t the best right now (Disclaimer; I like early autumn, but this time with no light and nothing but rain? Nope!)

  1. Light a candle or 50. Candles give a cosy and warm atmosphere to the cold and dark. Plus Christmas (Holidays if you don’t celebrate Christmas)  is soon here, might as well prepare right?
  2. Do not just sit around. The worst thing that autumn does to a person, is make them tired and just a blob. We feel like there is nothing to do. It rains out so going out on a walk is meh and if its dark its also meh, so we settle for just being a blob. But do not let yourself do that. Go out even if it rains. (“Yeah hi, it’s me your umbrella, yeah I still exist, its kinda stuffy in the closet all the time ya know”) or if its literally pouring cat and dogs just do a small dance around your room to Christmas music. (Yes I’ve done it, and yes it was great.)
  3. Spend time with friends and family. Look we feel like we are sad company, like we have nothing to give because I mean, blobs don’t talk ya know? But really we should go out. Grab a hot coco that costs like at least 3€ too much. Having a sugar high and spending time with friends or family to take away your mind from the wind, rain and dark for a while. And that is exactly what we need, to think about the good not the bad.

Thanks for reading and have a cozy autumn ❤

-Alisa

Life lessons

More questions less answers

We go to school, we learn daily new things. We answer thousands of questions. We read for exams that ask us factual questions. Questions we can answer with a date, a vocabulary word, or explaining chain of events in a way or another.  And that is great. It is important to learn how to answer straight forward questions with straight answers. But is that enough?

I do not think so. I believe that it would be so very important for people to analyse more philosophical questions. Questions that like of “What makes you happy, in day to day life?”. Or ” What do you think the world would need to make it a better place?” And these are hard questions. And chances are if you as this from a 7 year old the answer will be candy or more toys, or maybe nowadays it’d be WI-FI. But it doesn’t hurt to ask those things. Because even if one of 10 students actually gives something worthy of using in our day to day life, isn’t worth a shot? And sure, it is possible that no one else would get any value out of their answers. But it would make the students think. Like oh yeah, going on a walk with my dog makes me  happy, or hmmm my moms apple pie is to die for. And isn’t that just as important to teach about or if not teach make them think about it?

And this thinking about bigger questions could be added to actual subjects as well. For example in History. “What little things in this chain of events could have changed everything?” And then people would have to analyse History deeper, and maybe actually understand that history is not just dates and chains of events. It is people, feelings, pains and joys. And I believe in order to actually know history, you must understand the people the thoughts and actions not just the dates and names.

What I am trying to say here is that factual questions are great, but they do not do much on their own. We people question everything. And in order to remember somethings we have to be able to empathise with the situation. The feelings and thoughts we have are like the bones that add the meat to; which is the dates and names that otherwise mean nothing to us. That way we can somehow make these situations, questions and ideas important to us, and maybe even remember them better. For example in maths; “What should your monthly pay be in order to pay for rent that is X for water and electricity that is Y and for other stuff that is Z, remember to add taxes to your payments.”

What do you guys think, should we be asking more complex, feeling induced questions at school as well as in our personal life?

As always thanks for reading

-Alisa

personal development

Make a decision and stick to it

I know what you are thinking. Thanks Alisa, that helped a lot. I sure as hell didn’t think you could have said anything more basic. And to that I will say, chill my friend. Just stick along and for what I have to say.

I am currently reading a book by Anthony Robbins; The Giant Within. Technically I am listening to it but you get my point. I am just starting up, but I am now in the part where he speaks about making decisions and how the choices we make can impact our whole life. But he makes a distinction between just a choice to see how things go and making a conscious decision to work for something. He goes as far as to state and we are so un used to making decisions we get lazy with it. That is why making a difficult important decision is so hard. And this got me thinking, how long I have lived my life in a way of just letting the current take me where it wants to.

What is Robbins idea for making our decision making muscle grow? Practice of course. Start making small decisions and sticking with them. You can do a big and a small decision just to see how it feels. And practice until you making a life changing decision won’t seem like “Oh well, but I wouldn’t be able to do that anyway.” Hell yeah you can, if you chose to do it.

I haven’t gotten further in the book, but I assume that Tony will talk about this at some point. I will still mention this as a thought. It isn’t enough to decide that I want thing A or I want to reach a million followers or what ever it is that your goal is. I would assume that a real decision requires action. You decide to do everything in your power to reach that goal, that idea, that step in your life.

How would this look in practice? I would think that not only do you decide what you want to do you make decisions on how to make it work and take action. Let’s try to see with an example shall we.  Let’s say you want to be a business owner:

  1. Decide what business you would want to own. Personal Development? Helping people find their missing relatives? What ever it is, just chose that.
  2. Decide to research the crap out of that topic. What type a business should it be. How much money to invest. How to market this project.
  3. Decide and make a email list, to whom you tell about this opportunity. (Beneficial if they are your targeted audience.
  4. Decide to invest, and do it.
  5. Start making daily decisions that make it possible to work on your business. If you are broke and investing right away isn’t a choice, make a decision to find a job to help pay for your dreams.
  6. Baby steps, even small decisions can have a big impact.

As always thank you for reading. If you have read the book please let me know what you thought  and if you want to read the book or listen to it you can find it online 🙂

-Alisa

Goals, Lifestyle, personal development

Time management and success +rambling

I will be the first the first to admit. That even thought I am interested a lot in personal development and searching for myself and all that. I have not yet mastered the art of being a good time manager and a successful student. Do not get me wrong, you don’t have to be an A+ student or 4,0 GPA student to be successful, but since my main “job” right now is studying, I would regard getting good grades to be one of the ways I would feel successful.

I, like many others am lazy, and I do not think with a broader vision for the future. Now don’t go clicking away. I swear I am working on it. And this post isn’t me laughing and saying oh but I am just lazy, what ever. This post is more to tell people that if they feel they aren’t on top of things, like everyone seems to be. Not to worry, cos they aren’t alone. And while I am not best at this, I do have tips up my sleeve. (Reminder: Only hard work will pay of, there is no secret formula)

  1. Know thyself. Look I will admit that there are issues like dyslexia and concentration issues and what not, but in the end appart for those, really it is just us. 5 different tabs open on your computer? Are you sure all of them are work related? Phone isn’t on silent because mom will call any minute? So if you don’t answer within an hour she will not let you live it down? You are writing an essay but you just have to answer that friend who is asking if she should wear the pink shirt or the white one, and now you must save her from eternal embarrassment. (Pink duh!) My point is, when you study/ work or anything else if you seem to be lacking time, analyse where it is going and if it really is out of our hands.
  2. Figure out when and how. When are you the most productive? For me it is around 9am–> (that is if I wake up at 6 as usually). For you it could really be in the evening. I don’t really care. Not in the rude way. But you work best when you work best. Any time is a good time to work, if you do it well. I do not believe that the only way to succeed is to be an early bird. The only way to succeed is to work your ass off.
  3. Calendar, organization and a system that works.  And here I am again admitting that I am giving advice that I don’t use 100% myself. I suck at prioritizing and when I organize things it usually lasts for a day or two. But it does help. Clear desk clear mind and all that really does work for me. I do clean up my space quite often. And when I do, I work 10 times better.
  4. Set realistic goals. My boyfriend, if he’d read this would laugh. I always make my goals too big or I have too many of them. Ever had a list of goals (or to-do’s) that looks a bit like this:
    1.  Wake up a 6  go for a 5km run. Eat something very healthy. Ab workout.
    2. Drink 3 L of water
    3. Re organize your whole room/house
    4. Dominate the world
    5. Read 8 books (Not a good to-do/goal list)
  5. Forgive yourself if you do not work as hard that day as what you wanted to. You won’t achieve anything by beating yourself over it. Trust me I know.
  6. Concentrate on doing the best you can. If you only reading one subject is the best you can for today. Then that is great at least you read that chapter. The important part is not to do anything at all. (Check out the Non-Zero method) Get better bit by bit. You will not become a superhero over night (Unless a radioactive spider bites you or some ish)

Being a hard worker and succeeding with what ever you do in life is a lifestyle. You have to learn to become a hard worker/good student/business woman/man etc. It takes hard work, especially if you have never been a hard worker/ inspired person before. You brain works in a loop of habits. You have to change the bad ones and that takes time and effort. But don’t give up. I know I won’t.

 

 

Lifestyle, personal development

Questions for yourself

We love to question the world. Why are there stars, how did everything start? What happens if I do this, and so on. But  I suggest that for now, slow down, and start questioning yourself.

I have been searching for myself for quite a while now. I continue to do so. And I have found that there are a couple of questions that when directed at myself, help me understand who I am and what I want better. I am still confused and lost and wondering around this planet feeling like there is so much to understand but it has gotten easier.

  1. How do I want to feel? This isn’t my idea. This idea belongs to an author and entrepreneur Danielle LaPorte. She coins this idea in her book The Desire Map. What the book is about, is finding out what your own core desires are. The feelings you want your goals to give you. I haven’t read this book yet, but from the interviews I have listened to, it makes sense. (The book is definitely on my to- read list)
  2. How do I want others to see me? This might seem to be counter productive, I mean it has become a boom to not give a flying f*** about what others say or think. But really if you want people to see you as a productive person, what can you do for that be productive. Would you want others to perceive you as productive and hard working if you didn’t want to be those things? Probably not. This doesn’t mean that you should do what others want you to do. But find out who you want others to see you as and you might find a couple of answers of who you feel you are.
  3. What are my thoughts, what aren’t?  Sometimes we mix our own thoughts with other peoples?. Not because they force us to agree on something, but simply because we don’t stop to thing if we agree or not. It is after all easier not to think. And then sometimes we are taught to think a certain way and we, later on, realize that that isn’t our thought or dream. For example, someone might be born into a family full of doctors. But they don’t want to be a doctor. But the follow the footsteps of the family because they feel they have to. But are they happy? Probably not.
  4. What are my limiting beliefs? Maybe your beliefs are something that you yourself have taught yourself to believe. Or it might be a joke that a friend of yours said at your expense but you believed them. No matter how you ended up believing in that idea make sure you stop doing it. I am not saying you can fly from a balcony if you just believe enough. But you can learn math, you can improve drawing skills, you can become more fluent while writing/speaking. Every one of those things requires hard work. But I am telling you, YES YOU CAN. And don’t dare tell yourself otherwise.

Thank you all for reading as always and let me know what you think.

Xoxo,

Alisa

personal development, Positivity

Negativity- how to quit it

Negativity has been hot wired into our brain. It is one of the secret powers with which we have survived this far. But we do not really need negativity as we used to. I mean we don’t have to assume we will be attacked or anything along the lines. So why do we still hold on to negativity. Well evolution does happen very slowly, and thus it is our job to rewire our brains.

Disclaimer: This post isn’t about turning you into this rainbow pooping unicorn with no worries in the world. This is to help you see more good than bad, beaucause there really is a lot of good in the world as well.

  1. Be grateful. I am sure you have been shoved this from every person who is even a bit into personal development. But it is true. It is so easy to get stuck on thinking about what you do not have. That you totally disregard what is already there. So remind yourself every couple of days, of the things that make you smile. Maybe its your parents, your dog, your significant other, maybe it was the fact you got to read a great book. Just keep those things in mind as well, especially when your mind starts to wonder to the negative side.
  2. Write what you feel. You can call this a diary, journal what ever. Maybe just bullet points of  “Things that annoyed me today” and then write them out, and chances are that at least 3 things were just very silly. Someone walked onto your heel on a busy street. (and didn’t even ruin your shoes and apologized). One waited in the lights 3,5 seconds after the light turned green. And urg that cashier didn’t even say good day. After you have written those out, doesn’t it feel silly that the whole 16 hours that you are awake a day on average, you say has been shit for those reasons?
  3. Kind of a continuation from the last point. Don’t churn the negative things all the time. Let it goooo, let it gooo. Ok, I will stop singing now I swear. But really, a) no one needs to hear your whining ( unless its an actual legit reason why you need to open up to someone, never hesitate to talk or seek help). But talking for hours about how that driver was an asshole won’t do anything. It will just make you get into a negative cycle that will be very hard to exit. Trust me. I know what I am talking about.
  4. If the things that bother you are actual problem try to figure out if you can do something about. Had a fight with a friend. Could there be a way to have a discussion and sort it out? Yes there probably is, unless you murdered their dog or something. What about sh***** I JUST came up with a perfect come back to that thing that bully said to me over 10 years ago. Can you change that? Well not really without seeming very pathetic. (I mean can you imagine calling Billy at 2 am, 10 years later to tell him” hey, yo momma is so big…?)
  5. Do things you know will make you feel better. Read a book, go for a walk, buy a candle and burn it. What ever it is that you know that no matter what the day was like, you i will enjoy doing it. Watch a stupid comedy, what ever rocks your boat. I for one love to laugh after a shit day. I mean I am 21 but I still watch the pink panther cartoon once in while. I mean it is satisfying how the person who does everything wrong and is mean always gets a lesson at the end ( and Pink Panther gets away with everything 😀 )

I hope those tips help and I would love love love to hear what you do to be more positive if I didn’t mention it above. Or even if I did. ^^ Thanks for reading and as always comments are appreciated. (Also I have no idea why Billy is the bully’s name, nothing against Billy’s here 😀 )

-Alisa