Goals, Lifestyle

What does your success look like?

Look I know that the idea of having millions a swimming pool and thirty Gucci bags seems appealing but is that what your success really looks like? There are so many different ways to be successfully.

When I was younger I felt like success was becoming a doctor or a lawyer and having loads of money and obviously traveling like crazy and all that jazz. And sure traveling still appeals to me BUT, now I want my success to be more about how I feel rather than what I have.

I am not saying that money doesn’t appeal to me, because of course it does. And I would love to one day be able to do things that I can’t right now because I feel like I do not have enough money. But the thing is, no matter how much money you have, if you aren’t at peace within you, you will never be happy.

But you have to figure out what your success feels like, not just how it looks like. Because as we all know, not everything is as it seems.

Do you want to be able to help a lot of people? Do you want people to recognize you? Do you want to be a mysterious  person with an amazing talent but no-one knows your real name? Maybe your success is having 50 puppies, maybe its having 5 kids in a house near a beach and you can write your blog every other day. Who knows. But you should figure out, what will make you actually happy.

Some questions to ask yourself while thinking about this:

  1. Will having X make me want to wake up early in the morning to get my day started?
  2. What am I ready to give up in order to feel like that?
  3. Do I want it out of jealousy/ because it looks nice or because it will make me happy?
  4. Do I want this or does someone else want  this for me?

Good luck on your journey!

xoxo,

The Writer

 

Goals, Lifestyle, Reading and Books

How to spend your free time

Last time I mentioned we shouldn’t rush all the time. That it is okay to just do one thing at a time and actually have pauses. But what to do when you want to do something semi smart and not just sit and what TV, game etc. Which is totally okay as well. Once in a while. What smart is there to do and why do something semi productive during your rest time?

  1. Go for a walk: Going for a walk is going to kill a lot of birds with one stone. You get exercise, that in turn will make your brain work better and you will be less stressed.
  2. Read a book, blog post/listen to a podcast that isn’t just about some fiction/love etc. Reading, no matter what you are reading is good for your cognitive health but reading self-help or something similar will not only activate your brain but might give you ideas to your life. Same goes with listening to a podcast. Plus you can actually do something else like clean up at the same time.
  3. Watch a documentary. Watching something smart can just boost your knowledge and broaden your life views and that is always a good thing. Who knows when someone will ask you who was the third roman emperor.  ( It was Julius Cesar by the way https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Roman_emperors#Emperors_after_395)
  4. Talk to a mentor. It doesn’t matter who it is. It could be a brother or mother or someone online who you just met. But talking to someone who inspires you and makes you excited to be better and to work harder can never be a bad thing. This is especially helpful when you are just starting out you personal development journey.  If you have difficulties there  will always be someone, somewhere willing to help and guide you.

Here are some tips that I like to use. I do not always do this and trust me I waste way too much time just on youtube looking at productivity tips. But I try my best to improve with becoming more active mentally and these tips help me at least.

Good luck and until next time,

xoxo,

The Writer

Health, Life lessons

Frustration

Some of you, scratch that ALL of  you know this feeling. It is this knife turning in your gut, reminding you daily that you are not where you want to be. That no one understands you. You are all alone. The blog isn’t catching off as you would like and your instagram isn’t looking the way you want it to. Your beach body is more like the whale on the beach (please don’t think that you are awesome!) and why didn’t I get A* from that exam? I am sooooo stupid. There is this misconception that for everyone else who was trying to make something of themselves, it was easier, faster that they have something that we don’t.

And of course, most of us know logically, that there is no secret recipe. There is not formula for short cut to success. But still, there is thing nagging voice at the back of your head, laughing at you and making small comments on how you are so slow, and who the heck are you kidding, you can’t even write a full on sentence without at least 2 mistakes. You a blogger? Eh, what a joke! 

But in the world of success, no matter what success looks like for  you, there really isn’t the right way of doing things is there? I mean unless of course you do nothing. But there is no set time limit for success or learning something new. The only thing that is rushing us is well ourselves. We are discouraging ourselves by looking at these pictures on Instagram or videos online. And everything is soooo neat and crisp and clean and put together and I am not like that at all- what is wrong with me?

Let me tell you what is wrong with me, and do not worry I have this exactly same issue. YOU keep rushing, you keep expecting magic to happen where it isn’t supposed to happen. You are comparing someone on level 500 to your level 5. You are looking at everything  else except your own journey. And that will make you suffer. It will make you cry and it will make you feel empty inside. Because you assume that things should be easy.

And we all know life isn’t easy. It isn’t fair. It isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, come one, there can’t even be a rainbow without rain (too cliche?). Look I know you won’t listen to me, heck do not listen to me. But I hope you at least take something away from me writing this, because I write this truly from the bottom of my heart, (just as much for me as for you). Let go of expectations! Work hard. Try your best and that is what will make you success. Sure you can look up to people, but do not end up staring so much you miss your own journey.

What hinders you the most in your journey to success or bettering yourself? Please let us know in the comments and don’t forget to share ^^

With a lot of love,

The Writer

Lifestyle

Why the rush?

Hacks are everywhere! How to do this faster! What is the shortcut to this place? Ugh! I really  don’t want to walk there because it takes me 20 minutes more than going by car. Rush rush rush! Time is money. Everything is about being as efficient and fast as possible. But is this the way to live?

I am all about personal development, about being the best you, that you can possibly be. And that is why me talking about being more slow might be a bit of a contradicting topic but bear with me. I promise it makes sense.

We live in the world with productivity and fastness have become the new “trend”. People want to hire people who are fast as a bullet and get at least 5 things done at the same time. But what does it do to us?

Doing things at the same time has been proven not to actually work. Our brains as amazing as they are, are wired so  that we can properly do one thing at the time. This has been proven for example by a Dichotic Listening test where a person listen to 2 things at the same time. They are asked after what they remember and in the end they remember mostly from just one one of the two things they were listening.  (more about it here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dichotic_listening)

Now you needing to just concentrate on one thing, or do things a bit slower isn’t something you should regard as a weakness. Actually I think it is the other way around. If you just sit down and do one thing, and do it properly, chances are your results will be much better than a so called multitasker. And on top of that you will stress a lot less. Running around like a headless chicken isn’t one of the most relaxing past times.

Have you noticed that if in the morning you wake up late and have to rush out of the house you feel very disorientated and just kind of meh? That is because you didn’t have the time to just spend time doing things in order and making sure you have everything together. But if being in a rush and “multitasking” in the morning is bad, why would it be good for you later during the day?

How to lessen the feeling of a rush? 

  1. Give yourself more time: Wake up 20 minutes earlier, it isn’t that much so you can lose that amount of sleep. But it will give you the extra 20 min to have a calm morning. If you lost your sock, you still have time to find another one.
  2. Give yourself more time to get to places. Sometimes walking is a good idea okay? It gives you time and space to have your own thoughts and process what is about to happen soon plus you get fresh air.
  3. Give yourself more time to finish tasks. Most of the time we overestimate our capacity on doing things. And when we do not reach our goal in time we feel like a failure and like we are out of time constantly because we “take away” time from the next task. So just allot yourself 20/30 minutes more time that what you originally planned the task to take. That way you will not feel stressed all the time.

Please note the common thread through all of these tips: give yourself more time! 

Thanks for reading and good luck!

xoxo

The Writer

Goals, Lifestyle, Reading and Books

The 15 minute Rule, Caroline Buchanan Book Review+extra

 

You can do almost anything for 15 minutes at a time

I have started reading this book: The 15-minute rule- How to stop procrastinating and take control of your life book, by Caroline Buchanan. I must say that this book is amazing at least thus far. This is a very technical book, not in how it is written but due to the subject of the book, so If you are looking for a book that is written with poetic mastery, this is not for you. But if you realize that there are some aspects of your life that you aren’t mastering to the best of your potential, I urge you to grab this book and read it. Not all of it is for everyone, and that is the beauty of this book, that I think you can find the parts that apply mostly to you and concentrate on those.

So, what is the 15-minute rule? The idea behind this rule is that no matter what your task is you can do it for 15 minutes. Just fifteen minutes, that isn’t so long, right? After you get started you find momentum and then you can continue for another 15 min and so on. The catch here is that a huge reason for procrastinating is that we over think every task and make everything seem more daunting than it is, and 15 minutes gets us started. 15-minutes is enough to properly get the wheels turning and still not so much time that you would really have time to over think the task. Some ways to make the 15-minute rule even more effective were these:

Divide your 15 minutes into 3 parts:

1st 5 min: What is bothering your productivity the most right now? A messy desk? Clean it for 5 minutes.

2nd 5 min: Brain dump, everything you should be doing/have done (make sure to be able to find this paper/note later on)

3rd 5 min: Prepare for the next 15-minute session, take some snack with you, some tea and get started again.

Divide your 15-minutes into 3’s as well:

1st 15 min is about brainstorming and preparing for the work you are about to achieve.

2nd 15 min is about prioritizing what is essential in your project. If you have 15 calls to make, which ones are urgent?

3rd 15 min Start making the calls, or planning what you need to discuss in said calls.

Once you get started you will find it hard to stop. But you should stop. If you do not give yourself a pause after 15 minutes your brain will start to think of the 15-minute rule as a fake one, and you will have another reason to postpone your to-do’s. “It won’t actually be just 15 minutes, I’ll get stuck and I will do it for an hour, I don’t have an hour right now.”

One of the most important things is to also get to know yourself. Why do you procrastinate? For me the biggest reasons are these:

  1. I do not know where to start, and I am afraid that I am doing the wrong task. “Hey psst, you; brain, maybe you should actually be studying Spanish, not French.”
  2. “You won’t be able to do a good enough post anyway, never mind, maybe one day, when you know how to write better you can make a good blog post.” That would be me trying to reach perfection or being scared of failure.
  3. “What if you do become something, and then you become this snob, or the people who don’t like you will spread lies about you or something”: That would be the fear of success.
  • Done is better than perfect and the only failure is not trying.

What are some of your fears?

One of the most amazing points in this book is that to act on something you do not have to be motivated. For example; if you feel like going to the loo, no matter how lazy; uninspired you feel. At some point, you get up and go, because you must. So why not with the small, or big tasks in your life? Setting a timer for 15-minutes isn’t hard. And sitting on your butt for 15-minutes isn’t that bad either.

Procrastination is a habit. It is something that we have taught our brain to do, to achieve instant gratification. The 5 minutes we scroll Instagram instead of writing a blog post, doing school work, calling that client; is instant gratification. We get to do something “fun” and forget our responsibilities. This is something that Charles Duhigg talks about in the Tony Robbins podcast the #1 secret to productivity. You should really listen to the podcast if you are interested in the psychology behind habits and changing them.

“If you keep doing what you keep doing, you keep getting what you keep getting.”

The sad fact of today’s society is that we are trying to achieve goals right away and we want to see results right now. That is why social media appeals to us, because we get new interesting stimuli all the time. Just scroll down the Instagram feed and you will see something pretty and flashy every 3 seconds. But this has led to the fact that procrastination is now more common that ever up to 85% of us procrastinate daily (according to the research company: ICD). This is a humongous issue, because procrastination is proven to cause health issues; unhappiness, weight gain and causes us to become poorer. Is that really the way we want to live our lives?

So I urge you, if you notice the signs of procrastination in you, read this book, and apply the 15 minute rule into your life.

“It is our attitude at eh beginning of a difficult task, which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” – William James, psychologist.

If you are interested in the podcast with Charles Duhigg it is to be found on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4VPoQAb8a9kzYUQallhoKQ

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo,

The Writer

Goals, Lifestyle, Reading and Books

The 15 minute Rule, Caroline Buchanan Book Review+extra

 

You can do almost anything for 15 minutes at a time

I have started reading this book: The 15-minute rule- How to stop procrastinating and take control of your life book, by Caroline Buchanan. I must say that this book is amazing at least thus far. This is a very technical book, not in how it is written but due to the subject of the book, so If you are looking for a book that is written with poetic mastery, this is not for you. But if you realize that there are some aspects of your life that you aren’t mastering to the best of your potential, I urge you to grab this book and read it. Not all of it is for everyone, and that is the beauty of this book, that I think you can find the parts that apply mostly to you and concentrate on those.

So, what is the 15-minute rule? The idea behind this rule is that no matter what your task is you can do it for 15 minutes. Just fifteen minutes, that isn’t so long, right? After you get started you find momentum and then you can continue for another 15 min and so on. The catch here is that a huge reason for procrastinating is that we over think every task and make everything seem more daunting than it is, and 15 minutes gets us started. 15-minutes is enough to properly get the wheels turning and still not so much time that you would really have time to over think the task. Some ways to make the 15-minute rule even more effective were these:

Divide your 15 minutes into 3 parts:

1st 5 min: What is bothering your productivity the most right now? A messy desk? Clean it for 5 minutes.

2nd 5 min: Brain dump, everything you should be doing/have done (make sure to be able to find this paper/note later on)

3rd 5 min: Prepare for the next 15-minute session, take some snack with you, some tea and get started again.

Divide your 15-minutes into 3’s as well:

1st 15 min is about brainstorming and preparing for the work you are about to achieve.

2nd 15 min is about prioritizing what is essential in your project. If you have 15 calls to make, which ones are urgent?

3rd 15 min Start making the calls, or planning what you need to discuss in said calls.

Once you get started you will find it hard to stop. But you should stop. If you do not give yourself a pause after 15 minutes your brain will start to think of the 15-minute rule as a fake one, and you will have another reason to postpone your to-do’s. “It won’t actually be just 15 minutes, I’ll get stuck and I will do it for an hour, I don’t have an hour right now.”

One of the most important things is to also get to know yourself. Why do you procrastinate? For me the biggest reasons are these:

  1. I do not know where to start, and I am afraid that I am doing the wrong task. “Hey psst, you; brain, maybe you should actually be studying Spanish, not French.”
  2. “You won’t be able to do a good enough post anyway, never mind, maybe one day, when you know how to write better you can make a good blog post.” That would be me trying to reach perfection or being scared of failure.
  3. “What if you do become something, and then you become this snob, or the people who don’t like you will spread lies about you or something”: That would be the fear of success.
  • Done is better than perfect and the only failure is not trying.

What are some of your fears?

One of the most amazing points in this book is that to act on something you do not have to be motivated. For example; if you feel like going to the loo, no matter how lazy; uninspired you feel. At some point, you get up and go, because you must. So why not with the small, or big tasks in your life? Setting a timer for 15-minutes isn’t hard. And sitting on your butt for 15-minutes isn’t that bad either.

Procrastination is a habit. It is something that we have taught our brain to do, to achieve instant gratification. The 5 minutes we scroll Instagram instead of writing a blog post, doing school work, calling that client; is instant gratification. We get to do something “fun” and forget our responsibilities. This is something that Charles Duhigg talks about in the Tony Robbins podcast the #1 secret to productivity. You should really listen to the podcast if you are interested in the psychology behind habits and changing them.

“If you keep doing what you keep doing, you keep getting what you keep getting.”

The sad fact of today’s society is that we are trying to achieve goals right away and we want to see results right now. That is why social media appeals to us, because we get new interesting stimuli all the time. Just scroll down the Instagram feed and you will see something pretty and flashy every 3 seconds. But this has led to the fact that procrastination is now more common that ever up to 85% of us procrastinate daily (according to the research company: ICD). This is a humongous issue, because procrastination is proven to cause health issues; unhappiness, weight gain and causes us to become poorer. Is that really the way we want to live our lives?

So I urge you, if you notice the signs of procrastination in you, read this book, and apply the 15 minute rule into your life.

“It is our attitude at eh beginning of a difficult task, which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” – William James, psychologist.

If you are interested in the podcast with Charles Duhigg it is to be found on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4VPoQAb8a9kzYUQallhoKQ

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo,

The Writer