Goals, Lifestyle

What does your success look like?

Look I know that the idea of having millions a swimming pool and thirty Gucci bags seems appealing but is that what your success really looks like? There are so many different ways to be successfully.

When I was younger I felt like success was becoming a doctor or a lawyer and having loads of money and obviously traveling like crazy and all that jazz. And sure traveling still appeals to me BUT, now I want my success to be more about how I feel rather than what I have.

I am not saying that money doesn’t appeal to me, because of course it does. And I would love to one day be able to do things that I can’t right now because I feel like I do not have enough money. But the thing is, no matter how much money you have, if you aren’t at peace within you, you will never be happy.

But you have to figure out what your success feels like, not just how it looks like. Because as we all know, not everything is as it seems.

Do you want to be able to help a lot of people? Do you want people to recognize you? Do you want to be a mysterious  person with an amazing talent but no-one knows your real name? Maybe your success is having 50 puppies, maybe its having 5 kids in a house near a beach and you can write your blog every other day. Who knows. But you should figure out, what will make you actually happy.

Some questions to ask yourself while thinking about this:

  1. Will having X make me want to wake up early in the morning to get my day started?
  2. What am I ready to give up in order to feel like that?
  3. Do I want it out of jealousy/ because it looks nice or because it will make me happy?
  4. Do I want this or does someone else want  this for me?

Good luck on your journey!

xoxo,

The Writer

 

Goals, Lifestyle, Reading and Books

How to spend your free time

Last time I mentioned we shouldn’t rush all the time. That it is okay to just do one thing at a time and actually have pauses. But what to do when you want to do something semi smart and not just sit and what TV, game etc. Which is totally okay as well. Once in a while. What smart is there to do and why do something semi productive during your rest time?

  1. Go for a walk: Going for a walk is going to kill a lot of birds with one stone. You get exercise, that in turn will make your brain work better and you will be less stressed.
  2. Read a book, blog post/listen to a podcast that isn’t just about some fiction/love etc. Reading, no matter what you are reading is good for your cognitive health but reading self-help or something similar will not only activate your brain but might give you ideas to your life. Same goes with listening to a podcast. Plus you can actually do something else like clean up at the same time.
  3. Watch a documentary. Watching something smart can just boost your knowledge and broaden your life views and that is always a good thing. Who knows when someone will ask you who was the third roman emperor.  ( It was Julius Cesar by the way https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Roman_emperors#Emperors_after_395)
  4. Talk to a mentor. It doesn’t matter who it is. It could be a brother or mother or someone online who you just met. But talking to someone who inspires you and makes you excited to be better and to work harder can never be a bad thing. This is especially helpful when you are just starting out you personal development journey.  If you have difficulties there  will always be someone, somewhere willing to help and guide you.

Here are some tips that I like to use. I do not always do this and trust me I waste way too much time just on youtube looking at productivity tips. But I try my best to improve with becoming more active mentally and these tips help me at least.

Good luck and until next time,

xoxo,

The Writer

Health, Lifestyle, personal development, Spirituality

Why is meditation hyped? Should it be?

Here we are again my friends. Talking about meditation. Well why is it hyped? Meditation is an simple yet effective way to shut that monkey in our brain. It makes easier for us to focus on the tasks we should, but still gives us a possibility to go through out thoughts, without judgment of course.

A study done in Harvard University has scientific proof that not only is meditation good psychologicaly it enhances our brains physical performance, by building more gray matter. In as short time as 8 weeks MRI scans showed a increase in grey matter. This is something that explains why many people say that the benefits they reap from meditation aren’t plainly psychological or emotional, but also cognitive.

(Find the article here http://www.collective-evolution.com/2014/12/11/harvard-study-unveils-what-meditation-literally-does-to-the-brain/ )

This is great information. I am sure there are studies that show how meditation decreses risk for heart failure and for different forms of dementia. But is all the hype really necessary?

Yes and no. Look for me to tell that meditation is just bogus and stop waisting your time, would be hilarious considering I try to do it as much as possible. It helps me in so many ways, (all listed above) and I just want to make it a daily habit. So what is the down side of meditation?

It isn’t the act of meditating itself. It is the hype culture around it. Everyone in the personal development world makes it some kind of a super drug that will solve all your problem. Look mate, I am sorry to break it for you, but it isn’t. It really really isn’t.

First of all let us talk about the basic idea for mediation: Sit down in a lotus position, back straight and relax. Okay, let’s stop right there. My back hurts like hell in that position. Albeit it is my own fault because my back is just super weak, but I am not gonna get any relaxing done in that position. Try to make sure you aren’t thinking about anything. If a thought comes by, just let if float past.  What kind of a witch do you think I am. If I could just let it fly away I wouldn’t need meditation in the first place. Catch my drift here?

Get this misconception of meditation being this easy hack, out of your head. It is simple. It isn’t rocket science but it isn’t easy. You won’t even maybe feel the benefits of it, until you do it for a week. If you aren’t consistent then it might take you longer. So it isn’t a magic pill. It is a habit that you have to grow, in order to become better.

Then the second part why I think meditation is overrated, at least online, is how it is marketed. Sit, breath, ommm, relax. But the thing is that isn’t the only way to meditate. For someone it could be a walk. For some drinking coffee and listening to birds chirp. For someone its going riding on a horse etc etc.  There is no right way to mediate. Now I am sure that different ways affect us differently but in my opinion, the most important thing, is that you enjoy the process ( you are more likely to do it more often) and that your mind gets some peace and calm.

Personally I love to lay down and listen to a guided meditation. That way I can concentrate on the voice that guides me and breathing as told. Thus I am not as tempted to get sucked into my thoughts and worries.

How do you like to meditate?  Comment below what you think!

-Alisa

 

Life lessons, Lifestyle, personal development

Feelings, those pesky motherf****

Feelings shape our daily lives and makes life sometimes so much more complicated that it should be. And that is why I say, kick your feelings to the curb. Okay, maybe not that far. They are an important part of who we are and they make relationships of all kind work. Do not become a robot, just because feelings aren’t always logical. But I would suggest to give limited control over your life to feelings.

Let me give a couple of examples when feelings shouldn’t come into the drivers seat. (But they have been for me too once in a while, so no worries, I ain’t one to point a finger at you, my friend)

  1. When your feelings tell you, that you don’t feel like doing that thing. Do not listen to it. This is when your subconscious mind is for a reason or another telling you not to do something. Sometimes its fear of what you might achieve, and sometimes its just plain laziness. Either way, don’t listen to that feeling. Because you will never feel like doing something, unless its like super fun. So get your ass in gear and go what you got to do.
  2. Do not let yourself feel like a failure, if you didn’t reach a goal, or your grades weren’t as good as you wished etc. Look all of us feel like we aren’t enough once in a while and that is quite normal, means you do not have a unhealthy ego. But the thing is, if we let this failure mindset control our lives, we will never move forward and we will never try again. And that is a failure much greater than doing something wrong and learning from it.
  3. Jealousy. This one I think you can actually kick to the curb. I mean it doesn’t do anything to help you. Looking up to someone and getting motivated from that, that is great. But being jealous and wishing to get something by being negative about other persons success, that won’t lead you into the life of success. Hard work and consistency will.
  4. Fear. Do not silence it totally, because it  could be useful when you are about to do something stupid. But do not give it too much power, because that will paralyze you.

Thank’s for reading, I hope to hear what you think about this post, and if you have something to add please do.

Xoxo,

-Alisa

Life lessons, poetry

Are all ideas used? So what if they are?

 


Are all ideas used? I guess, you could say so, for all the words that come one of our mouths, all the ones we write have been written, many times over. But the way you connect a word with another, a sound to another. The way you describe a scene in a book, may be totally, new, at least to someone. And if it isn’t new, maybe this time the words stuck to the reader, something that the first time didn’t happen.

Of course you will hear people say that you are a copy cat; sneaky little fraud! But do you really write or create anything for those negative minds? Or do maybe write, paint or do art or what ever for you? Or maybe a selected few who chose to read and be positive about you?

I am not telling you to go and copy paste Shakespeare’s sonnet’s and say they are your own, nor do I encourage you to take a photo of a painting and repainting it stroke for stoke, for that, in my mind is stealing, of the worse kind. It isn’t stealing what someone has but also what someone is, and a true artist, will always understand it, weather his/her art is presented in a museum, a blog or on a stage.

Every word has been used, maybe every idea has been used. But there are ways of rearranging words and ideas to look exactly like you. It has yet not become a sin to agree on someones thought process, nor is it a sin to pour your soul out on the piece of paper, what ever the form may be.

So, please do not hide away the way you write, the way you think or the way you see. Say it all in your own voice, Show it all with your own hands, know it all in your mind, and you at least will have a peace of mind, that no matter what someone calls you, you aren’t a copy cap, you aren’t a sneaky little fraud, you are just you, who agreed on what 1000 other people have said before you and will say after you. And that doesn’t take away from you being you.


Soooo, I regard as myself as a writer, as a poet, as a blogger and as an artist (to name a few points) I love to write and experiment and oh I love love love poetry. I am not exactly the most advanced, nor have I read that much BUT I love writing it. For me it is much much easier than to write normally, but anyway, back to the topic at hand.

As an artist, writer blogger, hopefully future entrepreneur I realize that the ideas I have, aren’t unique to me. They have been said, done, expressed and though before. I might just be one of the many broken records (Personal development 101: remember to drink water, sleep 8 hours a night etc. etc.) But I do my best to write in my own style.

I try to be quirky and I try to be a little bit sarcastic and a lot realistic. I do not want to sound like a nanny, but like a boss as b*****. But I am rambling again, my point is; Even if you aren’t sure that your idea is unique, write it, paint it, make it.

Do not shy away behind other artists, there is always space for more of us. This is a community that we get to share our passion, our art. And as long as you know that you didn’t copy, then that is great.

If thought someone does point at you and say copy cat and even shows you why they say so. You might want to listen, sometimes they might be right. You didn’t do it on purpose I am sure. But she was such a great writer you had  to incorporate that style to your writing, but in the process of being inspired by someone you lost you own voice. That happens, oh believe me that happens to the best of people. Then you thank the person who pointed it out and you work on making sure that your own voice isn’t lost and that you can still be unique, even if someone affected you deeply with their art.

Remember in order to find your voice, you have to use it and get used to it, until others get used to it too, and when ever someone sees/hears your work, they can state a name within seconds.

Inspiration for this post came from these sources:

  1. My insecurity as a writer
  2. Elizabeth Gilbert- In her interview on Marie Forleo (love that channel, check her out on youtube, she interview such inspiring people)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyUYa-BnjU8

-Alisa

Lifestyle, personal development, Positivity

Confidence

So, you want to be confident but you don’t know where to start?

 

Let me give you some tips, that I have used myself, and that way you won’t feel the need to get surgeries, use billions to have someone give you a “makeover” (that wouldn’t do anything, anyway, if you feel insecure on the inside, just saying)

I want to first state that in my opinion, confidence comes from the inside, so do not try to boost your confidence by spending a lot of money on clothes, make up etc. I do not think it makes you confident for the long term. Let’s start, shall we?

  1. Confidence isn’t just about looks. Confidence is about ambition, about having understanding in subject other people might not. Do not hide away if you are a book worm, or you love statistical maths, just find people who know how to appreciate that in you. Knowledge and ambition makes a person so much more attractive to others, so don’t hide your brain, it is just as beautiful as your body.
  2. Accept compliments. Look I know it is trendy now to be all shy and humble. But there is a difference between humble and plain evil to yourself. “Humble is saying Oh thank you so much, you look amazing as well, where did you get this shirt it makes your eyes pop so nicely?” And mean to yourself is “Oh gosh, no way, I look like a zombie from the walking dead. I just can’t make myself look pretty unlike you, you just shine like a diamond.” Look the way we talk to ourselves and about ourselves has an amazing amount of impact. Not only do we make ourselves seem less attractive by being in this “victim mode” we also make ourselves believe what we say.
  3. Gurll/bro, please don’t apologize for how you look. If you slept bad last night then don’t even mention it and hustle on. And if someone else says “You look tired” Then you should say “Yeah, slept bad last night, but hey I still look pretty fab considering.” Not only will this make you seem like a happier person, which is always an attractive trait in a person, it will also make you seem confident. Seeming confident to others will also make yourself feel more confident, which will just improve your state of mind all in all.
  4. Listen to music that is upbeat and happy, when you are walking. Or right before a stressful event. Having purposeful strides makes you seem like someone with a mission = Confident. Also it will get you in a better mood, so you seem more alert and in the present.
  5. Don’t shy away from confidence. There is a very big difference between being confident, secure in who you are and being an egoistical ass h***. Just be you and be comfortable being you, don’t over do it, and do not disrespect others, that makes it impossible for you to be egoistical.
  6. Give it time. You won’t feel amazing and perfect in a day. Just keep working on being the best version of you and make sure not to put yourself down, and you will be confident one day. Trust me, I know what I am talking about.

If you guys want tips on how to improve confidence with clothes, make up and such leave a comment below and I will be sure to touch upon the subject in a future post of mine. But keep in mind that inner confidence is much more important than outer one.

xoxo,

The Writer

 

Goals, Lifestyle

Goal Planning

I have a post here for you my friends that I am going to myself fill up with my goals, wishes and vision for the time periods marked below. Why you ask? Quite simply I have TOO MANY goals for a short time period. It has been proven by multiple studies that too many goals will actually hinder your progress. That is why, I plan on dividing my goals from short term to longer term to long as term goals. I want to see what I want to achieve in my life and most importantly track my progress as I go further and further into my life.

(from other blog)
8) Having too many goals.

Some people have too many goals and not enough focus. It’s like they’re standing in front of a dart board with three targets in mind. Hitting just one target is difficult enough; hitting three targets simultaneously with one dart is impossible. Therefore, determine the one goal you are focused on and move forward with that one goal only. Eliminate other goals that are secondary. This is not to say that you should never have more than one goal. Rather, you need to realize that you have only so much time and energy. Therefore, choose the goal that will give you the highest ROE (return on effort) and focus on that one goal first. Once complete, you can then focus on other goals in sequence.” (Link to the full post http://www.reliableplant.com/Read/8259/fail-achieve-goals)

My example plan for goal setting
Goals for next 6 months

  • Wake up earlier; 6 am
  • Maintain healthier diet
  • Being grateful
  • Meditating daily

Goals for the next year

  • Be able to run 5km without stopping (about 3.1 miles)
  • Learn to get out of your comfort zone

Goals for the next 3 years

  • Finish the book you are writing
  • Get back on track with playing flute
  • become an independent blogger

Goals for the next 5 years

  • Start writing your selfhelp guide
  • Learn 3 new languages till at least mediocre level
  • Own a business

Goals/Vision for the next 10 years

  • Own your own home
  • Own your dream car
  • Be able to sustain a comfortable life with traveling

I have stated some examples in this blog post that may or may not be my actual goals just to show an example what I regard as a long process goals (those require more time and patience) and what I regard as short term goals (these obviously are supposed to be easier to achieve).

This may look totally different for you. You might have smaller goals than my example or larger goals, that is totally up to you. Disclaimer: I would also like to remind that these examples will be broad and thus you should work on making yours as specific as possible, or making specific action plans for each goal.

Remember you do not have to have many goals written down, and chances are they might change or you might add new goals to your list in the future. This is normal and perfectly ok. I would hate to be a slave to my goals even if reaching them is super important for your overall well being. But say one of your goals is to travel to Mexico next year summer but right when you plan on going there, your friend is getting married in Australia and she wants you to be her bridesmaid, what is more important then? Surely then you would use your savings to travel to see her? Life is never so clear cut that you could possibly take into consideration everything. The main point is  that you don’t make excuses not to do something and there is a real reason for why you don’t want to/ can’t do it. 

You can use times I used in this blog 6months, 1 year etc. Or you can make ones that work for you. You can have goals for a week, or 3 months. What ever works for you.

Why bother with goals?

There is a lot of positive effects of having goals. It keeps you active physically and mentally. It gives you something else than just your normal routine to work on, and it is so very important to keep your mind on its toes. No one wants to become stagnant in their lives. Too much comfort, and no change can lead to serious consequences including depression.

I would love to hear from you and how you feel about goals. Do you have many goals? Do you feel pressured to reach those goals faster than you feel comfortable. If you would like some tips and tricks to reach goals, that might not have been mentioned before please like and comment on this post. Happy goal planning!

Xoxo,

The Writer

Lifestyle, personal development

What is Personal Development?

Personal Development is a life style, at least in my opinion. It is a choice to make sure that you do not get stuck, that you keep moving forward and growing as a person. It is this idea, that no matter how much you know you never know enough and no matter how good you are at something you can always always do better.

This doesn’t mean you should beat yourself over not being Mozart at the age of 15 or not being able to do same kind of discoveries as Einstein. Look all of us have the things that we are either better or worse at. We get inspired by different things and that is fine. The important part is to be inspired. To find interest in what ever it is that we find interesting.

Personal Development is a healthy choice. It is a choice where you have control over the kind of person you are and want to become. It makes a huge difference when you can be educated and interesting to not only others but to yourself. Reading, writing, being an artist of any kind. Being sportive being a motivator, all of those things fall under being interested of developing, improving and growing yourself. To each their own. Really what makes you happy while trying to develop is your own business. It could be meditation, praying, reading 50 books in 2 weeks, watching documentaries. What ever it is that you do, if it makes you grow, it really is worth the time and the effort.

But remember you do not have to pay 1000000000$$$ to someone to become a better version. Getting a book on the thing that interests you is great. Sitting and being mindful for 10 minutes, or even just 3 is great. In the end it doesn’t take that much effort if you use about 30 minutes of your day, to become better, and who knows you might get hooked on it like me, and be doing it as much as possible.

Please comment below, how you like to better yourself. Let me know how your personal development journey started.

Xoxo,

The Writer